People keep saying I am a good friend. And I know that they mean well...but if one more person tells me that I did the right thing or that I am a good friend...I swear I will scream.
This isn't about being a good friend. Because I didn't do it to be a good friend. I did it because it was the only thing I could do.
I've never been so exhausted in my life. This is more then just working hard or studying for days-this is I've got nothing left to give exhaustion. I feel my body moving, but my head is nowhere to be found.
And I'm not a good friend. Because I'm playing all these what-if scenarios in my head. I'm honestly scared for when she comes home. Even if she's better, there will always be what if...
I love her so much...but I cant carry this load for ever. I know I sound selfish and unkind. That's not where I am coming from. I just cannot do this forever. I don't even think I can get through the next few days doing this...I'm barely holding it together as it is.
About Me
- Amber Lanae-
- Life is a journey. Its not meant to be easy all the time. Its not meant to be an uphill battle all the time. But it is meant to be enjoyed and loved. The trick is taking each day as a gift, as an opportunity to step forward. I'm slowly learning that my life is a lot like backpacking through the wilderness. Somedays are full of beautiful colors and new, exciting experiences; other days are a little more dark, stormy, and difficult. But they combine together-to make an amazing life. I've accomplished a lot in my short life-moving away from home, graduating from college and Pharmacy school, moving to Texas, developing my testimony and solidifying my faith-and every step of the journey has been different. But the point is that it is MY journey and I'm so very excited to see what is next!
3 comments:
I can't even imagine everything you are going through right now, but it's always important to make time for yourself. Take a bubble bath or watch your favorite show, cry a little more if that is what you need right now. And remember that Heavenly Father will listen and answers your prayers. It might help to receive a blessing to receive some guidance and direction. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I am sure it is so hard to see a close friend like that and to have to be the strong one. I will pray for you and for her. When we can no longer move ourselves, the Lord moves us, we just have to ask. Love ya!!
Oh no! How awful! I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things are better this week.
xoxoxo
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