Accentuate the Positive

I have this new friend here in Texas and he is quite possibly one of the most optimistic and positive people I've ever met (especially in a male body). I've really enjoyed observing and getting to know him over the past few weeks because just when I think he can't surprise me anymore, he does. He chooses to see things in a positive light and to really find peace with his course of life. The other night he stated, "I look at my grandparents and I think to myself, 'I can be that great in 65 years if I just keep going'."

I have another friend in Texas who is also one of the happiest people I've ever met. She avoids complaining like it was the plague because she feels its better in life to have joy. She understands there is a need to vent, but when it comes to complaining it is something she just doesn't do. She also sees good in every situation, every person, everything. Her disposition is that of happiness and her face truly reflects joy. 

One last friend, has a natural strength for 'positivity'. Everyday, as we communicate through text/FaceTime/emails, I find that she's always influencing my train of thinking or the way in which I relate my feelings about a topic. Her natural need for positivity helps me to step back from a situation and recognize the good all around. 

Its interesting to observe and interact with these friends. Each, in their own way, has been shaping and molding this own desire of my heart to become more content with the world around me. Luckily, each of them is a safe person-someone that I feel I can trust (which is amazing if you know anything about me!). I find that I want to spend more time around them, to learn more about how they choose this better perspective, and to start changing my own responses and perspectives. 

I'm not necessarily a negative person-I don't like those feelings, however I recognize that most of my life has been about preparing myself for disasters which results in a more pessimistic outlook. But I also recognize that as I continue to progress in life, I have this intense desire to have more contentment, more peace, and more joy. Because that's what God's plan is all about-that beautiful Plan of Happiness. 

I've got a long way to go on this journey-but it really is just what I need and I am so excited to progress this way. I'm grateful for new friends, who are positive and good-who challenge me to be better. I'm grateful for the ability to trust them and to open myself to their influence. And I'm really grateful for the opportunity to 'accentuate the positive' in my own life. 

"I come to you tonight with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we try to 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. Now I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man or woman who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his or her course. What I am suggesting is that you turn from the negativism that so permeates our modern society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom you associate, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was prone to speak critically, my wise father would say: 'Cynics do not contribute. Skeptics do not create. Doubters do not achieve.' "

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

*I'm not trying, but I can't stop smiling

Have you ever just taken the time to step back from life and just observe your life with gratitude? If not, you should do it. It changes your perspective and teaches you a lot about life.

Life is by no means perfect and as always there are little frustrations or annoyances. But I am at peace. I emailed my best friend Jessica today (6 days until I see her beautiful face!) and as I was responding to some things I was able to reflect on the path my life has taken and I just felt overwhelming gratitude.

Determination

I shot for the sky-I'm stuck on the ground. So why do I try? I know I'm gonna fall down. I thought I could fly-so why did I drown. I'll never know why, its coming down.

I'm not ready to let go cause then I'll never know what I could be missing. But I'm missing way to much, so when do I give up on what I've been wishing for?

I don't want to hear the sound of losing what I never found.

“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing."

Dreamin', and hopin', and wishin'

And most importantly, BELIEVING!!!

“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.“God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.”--Jeffery R. Holland (Mark 11:22-26) ♥

Choosing the Right

"Remember that the mantle of leadership is not the cloak of comfort, but the robe of responsibility. Accountability is not for the intention but for the deed. You must continue to refuse to compromise with expediency. You must maintain the courage to defy the consensus. You must continue to choose the harder right, instead of the easier wrong."

Wow. What a ride the last week has been-where do I even start? I am quite certain I say all the time how in awe I am of the Lord's hand in my life-but I have no additional words for it. It just amazes me that this perfect being who can see everything cares enough about me to push me so hard to become this better part.

This past week was no different. Starting last wednesday until today, the Lord was teaching me. Revelation has never been so loud or apparent in my life as it was over these few days. And while most of the things are too personal for a blog like this-I can say that I have learned some very valuable lessons.

When I look back on my life, I think about all the different tactics I used to survive and succeed. And those tactics worked-they got me to where I am now. Over the years, I have built walls up to protect myself and allow myself to function in the most extreme situations. And yet, now I am at this critical phase of life (and it all ties into my theme for the year) where I am trying to make the transition from surviving to thriving. But one cannot thrive with walls-one cannot have a completely broken heart and a contrite spirit if they keep people out and protect themselves from vulnerability.

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”

And so this is my newest challenge (only not so new, considering its my theme for the year)-to break down these old walls and open myself up. Its not going to be easy-I've already learned that it can be quite painful (OUCH x 1000). And yet, as my heart has started cracking wide open (okay, being forced to crack wide open...) I have had these amazing experiences and I find myself standing back (yes, in awe) and thinking just how much is in store for me on this journey.

I watched 17 Miracles this past Sunday (*sigh*) and as I watched all the many things those saints had to go through, I thought to myself-it was worth it for them and its worth it for you. I was so touched by the lyrics of the song from that movie and I've pretty much listened to it on repeat for 2 days now. I love every single line-it says exactly what I want to emulate on this journey of life-on MY journey cause its the only one I get.

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

O’errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Hard Lessons (to be continued)

I have so much to write-so much to record so that I don't forget these lessons I've learned in the last 48 hours (and over these last few months). I told a friend today that I felt like my last semester of institute solidified my foundation of faith (we studied lectures on faith). And since then all these things keep happening that at one time had the potential to break my foundation of faith, but that no longer have any power over my faith.

But that doesn't make the trials any less painful (don't get me wrong-I'm so very grateful for every single one of them).

Tonight I'm also grateful for the friends who stepped in and lightened my load-whether it was through witty banter that made me laugh (CR) or a 'FaceTime getting ready' moment, followed by multiple conversations and rational insight (AR), or a trip to the temple and a subway dinner complete with tears from start to finish (AS), or emails filled with words of love and honesty (JD).  And I am ultimately grateful that Heavenly Father cares enough about me to give me these lessons-to create these growing pains.

But with all that, I still have some courage to pull from within.  Even though I'm hurting, I ultimately have to buck up, look up, and step up. Because despite it all I have my faith and that brings me peace and joy.

Taking Time for the Important Things

This was my lesson from the past weekend. I realized last night that I had left nothing for myself and nothing for Heavenly Father (see post). And as I dreamt about it and then pondered it throughout the day, I realized I spend so much time trying to please other people that I forget the one being I am supposed to please-God. (and with that, ultimately my own soul)

Today I read this from President Monson (love that MAN!): 'In this fast-paced life, do we ever pause for moments of meditation—even thoughts of timeless truths?'

Amazing right-I'd already figured it out on my own and then the Spirit confirms it. I seriously love how the gospel works in life. Because after I thought and pondered all day, we go to FHE and have a lesson on 2 Nephi Chapter 4 (and I quote):

20 My God hath been my ^asupport; he hath led me through mine^bafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

 21 He hath filled me with his ^alove, even unto the ^bconsuming of my flesh.

 22 He hath confounded mine ^aenemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

 23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me^aknowledge by ^bvisions in the night-time.

 24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty ^aprayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

 25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been ^acarriedaway upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

 26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath ^avisited men in so much ^bmercy, ^cwhy should my ^dheart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

 27 And why should I ^ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to ^btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my ^cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am I^dangry because of mine enemy?

 28 Awake, my soul! No longer ^adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the ^benemy of my soul.

RIGHT?! (I really don't know if anyone is even reading this, but if you are I hope you just had the same (or a similar) smack to the forehead moment!)

So at FHE, I actually then took this back to President Holland's talk, 'No Place for the Enemy of my Soul', and explained how important it is for us to first 'Like Joseph in the presence of Potiphar’s wife, just run—run as far away as you can get from whatever or whoever it is that beguiles you. And please, when fleeing the scene of temptation, do not leave a forwarding address.' He then talks about how important it is to seek guidance from our leaders. I love this thought of counsel and guidance from our leaders-it's why they are called and even though it may seem like the most minute problem-seeking their guidance will provide you with some sort of direction. Remember that Elder Boyd K. Packer taught that "spirituality, while consummately strong, reacts to very delicate changes in its environment."

So what am I really getting at here, well for me its something different then what you may find-but here's my answer anyways. What I have realized is that in my race to do EVERYTHING, I ultimately spend all my time trying to please another person. And I forget that there is really only one being to please (GOD). It doesn't matter how much I try to please others, there will always be someone (or multiple someones) that whatever you do-it will never be good enough. But that isn't the case with our Father in Heaven-that is not how He operates. Instead, our Heavenly Father takes whatever minute acts we can give him in the moment and then pours blessings out upon our heads. Does he want our absolute best? ABSOLUTELY! But does he accept less? EVERY TIME-because the atonement makes up for all the rest. And so for me-my focus is changing: I am going work on spending my time pleasing Heavenly Father-because as I do I will still find ways to love and serve others, I will still do my absolute best to magnify my callings, and I will try to help others along the way. But I won't be accountable to them or be responsible for pleasing them, because my focus will be centered on God's opinion. I'm confident in my knowledge that as I please my Father in Heaven, I will find ways to bless others (without being worried about pleasing them).

Those are my thoughts on the lesson I learned this week.