Choosing the Right

"Remember that the mantle of leadership is not the cloak of comfort, but the robe of responsibility. Accountability is not for the intention but for the deed. You must continue to refuse to compromise with expediency. You must maintain the courage to defy the consensus. You must continue to choose the harder right, instead of the easier wrong."

Wow. What a ride the last week has been-where do I even start? I am quite certain I say all the time how in awe I am of the Lord's hand in my life-but I have no additional words for it. It just amazes me that this perfect being who can see everything cares enough about me to push me so hard to become this better part.

This past week was no different. Starting last wednesday until today, the Lord was teaching me. Revelation has never been so loud or apparent in my life as it was over these few days. And while most of the things are too personal for a blog like this-I can say that I have learned some very valuable lessons.

When I look back on my life, I think about all the different tactics I used to survive and succeed. And those tactics worked-they got me to where I am now. Over the years, I have built walls up to protect myself and allow myself to function in the most extreme situations. And yet, now I am at this critical phase of life (and it all ties into my theme for the year) where I am trying to make the transition from surviving to thriving. But one cannot thrive with walls-one cannot have a completely broken heart and a contrite spirit if they keep people out and protect themselves from vulnerability.

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”

And so this is my newest challenge (only not so new, considering its my theme for the year)-to break down these old walls and open myself up. Its not going to be easy-I've already learned that it can be quite painful (OUCH x 1000). And yet, as my heart has started cracking wide open (okay, being forced to crack wide open...) I have had these amazing experiences and I find myself standing back (yes, in awe) and thinking just how much is in store for me on this journey.

I watched 17 Miracles this past Sunday (*sigh*) and as I watched all the many things those saints had to go through, I thought to myself-it was worth it for them and its worth it for you. I was so touched by the lyrics of the song from that movie and I've pretty much listened to it on repeat for 2 days now. I love every single line-it says exactly what I want to emulate on this journey of life-on MY journey cause its the only one I get.

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

O’errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.