I've been in this state of disarray-a dismantling of sorts-over the past few months. Its weird cause it has been some of the most difficult experiences of my life and yet I have felt more joy and peace then ever before. And it just keeps happening-every turn there is a new lesson, a new way to improve and strengthen my faith. Its not easy-but its so worth it. I feel as though I'm living this dream life. I need to take moments (almost daily) and really focus that this is where I am and this is what is happening. I never thought in a million years that I could come this far-and yet I haven't even scratched the surface. This thought brings me such excitement for my future and an attitude of 'its all going to be worth it.' The perspective there is insane-its really incomprehensible at times cause I just don't believe enough.
Believe. Thats been my mantra for the past two months. Believe that this can happen. Believe in God's plan. Believe in yourself. Believe.
Then I paired it with my best friend's mantra, Remember. So now I have to remember to believe. And then this quote at Stake Conference today, which just resonated within my soul:
Why do we do what we do, when we know what we know?
Why do I do what I do, when I know what I know?
Hm. I love it. In the words of Brother Facer, 'It tastes good.' As I heard this statement, I sat texting my best friend. Sharing with her my frustrations with myself and with my dim faith and she shared with me her own thoughts. And in that conversation, we both were resolved to pray for one another-to Believe, to remember, to increase our faith.
And here is the end of my brain dump for the night. Because after a great stake conference and a heart to heart with my best friend, there was an amazing fireside from President Holland. Where he bestowed one of the most beautiful apostolic blessings I have ever heard. And as he did so, he blessed all of us that 'your prayers in righteousness will be answered; that your personal fears will be lifted; that your backs, and your shoulders, and your hearts will be strong for the burdens that are placed upon them; I bless you as you strive to be pure in heart, offering yourselves as an instrument in the hands of God for establishing Zion in these latter-days every where you stand; I bless you to be true to each other and to those not of your circle to whom we should reach out; above that I bless you to be friends of the Savior of the world, to know him personally, and to have confidence in His company...I bless you with this hope for happiness and holiness tonight and tomorrow and forever.'
So to my best friend (hope and remember God loves you and NEEDS you) and to myself (lift your fears and believe in your righteous prayers). If that wasn't an answer to our prayers-I dunno what was.
1 comment:
Remember....oh goodness - that's getting increasingly harder - my mind is slipping in my old age.
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