Today, I have a lot to say....

About change and moving on:

Last month marked one year of living with Jessica-it has been a year of more then I have ever expected. Recently, my thoughts have been focusing on "not knowing the sweet, without tasting the bitter." This year brought about a lot of change and with that change came a lot of bitter, but I've found that the bitter moments have been outweighed completely by the sweet moments.

The day I moved in with Jessica, I cried-bawled actually. I had prayed about the decision and I knew it was right, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was going to ruin our friendship. At that time, the loss of a friendship was not something I could bare to imagine-I was currently losing a friend, someone I thought was a best friend, and it was painful. Shortly after moving in the aforementioned friendship ended and then over the next few months, I made other mistakes, chose other paths that were not right for me, which made my life more difficult. But along the way, I noticed that something within me was starting to break lose-I was remembering that I know how to survive and to really CHANGE. So I started focusing less on the pain and started working towards healing myself and improving.

This year of living with Jessica has been the best of my roommate experiences. Jessica and I are still friends-best friends. And my life is so much better because of who she is-because of how she challenges me and because she is invested in me (as much as I am invested in her). I know that change is difficult and I know that moving on is hard (especially for me), but I am so glad that I listened to the answer to my prayer-because Heavenly Father knew what was best and he knew I needed to taste bitter, to recognize and love the sweet.

About faith, blessings, and gratitude:

I have noticed that over the years, my relationship with my Heavenly Father has become so much more then I ever imagined possible. This latest accomplishment of being offered a residency position at UT-SA has been a defining moment in my relationship with my Father in Heaven. Going into the process, I prepared myself the best I could-I did all that was required of me and then I took it to the Lord. I knelt in prayer and said, "I've done all I can, now please take control and whatever may come, I'll accept the decision." I spent time in the temple, conversing with Him and listening. I devoted myself to scripture study and more meaningful prayer. And just when I was starting to second guess myself and the choice ahead of me, sweet reminders of Heavenly Father's grace entered my mind. I was reminded of blessings I had received, reminded that people were praying for me and rooting for me, and reminded that Heavenly Father always provides what is best for us.

I am so grateful for this blessing in my life. It has strengthened my faith in the Lord and equipped me with more then I ever imagined. I'm proud of myself-because I put something to the test and it worked. I am grateful that I learned more about relying on our Father in Heaven. I am grateful for all my friends and family who prayed for me, who were rooting for me, and for those who reminded me I could do this along the way.

About basketball:

I love basketball. I do. I have never been very good at sports-but basketball is different for me. Basketball has become more about the team and about the friends I make. Last night, basketball hit a new high that I have never reached before. I am so proud of the way my team played last night: we played as a team, we communicated, we played hard and aggressive, and we had fun. That is what basketball is about for me. Its not about winning or losing. Its about teamwork and sportsmanship.

But just so you know...we totally won! And it was Awesome.

About this song:

One and Only

I love it. And this is how I feel right now.