The adversary is cunning, and although he does not know my internal thoughts, he knows how to wear me down with self doubt and the fear of the unknown. And this week, the weight of that self doubt and the stress of planning for a future I have no control over has beat upon my shoulders. It doesn't help that my self doubt is the loudest voice in the room. I trust in my Father in Heaven, but I have a hard time trusting myself-which just seems wrong.
But then comes Sunday-Sweet Sunday. That fills up my heart with peace and love. And the tender mercies of the Lord bear down all around me. And for one day I gain respite from my self. I read this today as I finished Jeffery Holland's book, However Hard and Long the Road:
"The best things are always worth finishing. 'Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?'(1 Cor 3:16.) Most assuredly we are. As long and laborious as the effort may seem, we must keep shaping and setting the stones that will make our accomplishments 'a grand and imposing spectacle.' We must take advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow, dream dreams and see visions, work towards their realization, wait patiently when we have no other choice, lean on our sword and rest a while, but get up and fight again...Our life must be a 'monument to Mormon perserverance,' however long and hard the road."
I'm still terrified of the next few weeks-of performing well on my interviews, of opening my heart wide, of growing and dreaming, of becoming me. But I know that I am not really alone, as much as the adversary tries to make me feel that way. And ultimately, I know myself enough to know that in the end I will make it, however long and hard the road.
1 comment:
I love that quote, really needed to hear that today :) Thanks for sharing it!
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