Integrity

Through my own actions, my integrity wavered. I will not go into the details, for they are personal. But I found this talk from Elder Russell M. Nelson and I had to share my thoughts/comments.

Russell M. Nelson begins his talk with an analogy of the mitral valve in the human heart (of course I'd find a talk about the heart...I love the heart...) The mitral valve has cords and as one becomes broken or torn, the others slowly weaken. Much like our spirits. We are tethered to the gospel, but as we break principles as we make mistakes we slowly weaken those tethers and slowly start to pull away from our Father in Heaven.

"We cannot commit a little sin without being subject to the consequences. If we tolerate a little sin today, we tolerate a little more tomorrow, and before long, a cord of integrity is broken."

But none of us is immune to temptation, and the adversary knows it. He would deceive, connive, or contrive any means to deprive us of potential joy and exaltation. He knows that if one little cord of control can be snapped, others likely will weaken later under increased strain. The result would be no integrity, no eternal life. Satan’s triumph would be assured. If this domino-like deterioration causes a run in our spiritual stocking, qualities of character are lost and our cherished integrity is gone.

If we are wise, we assess personal cords of integrity on a daily basis. We identify any weakness, and we repair it. Indeed, we have an obligation to do so. The words of Isaiah apply equally to all:

“Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. “Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong”

Sometimes in life, we have to stop and assess right in the moment. Sometimes our actions are too quick for us to assess and then we are left to make the decision to go back and try to repair the cord. If we fail to turn back, we make the choice to weaken ourselves spiritually. I've found in this latest struggle, that prayer is the only place to find the right answer within your heart. For myself, my heart was tortured, I was so disappointed in myself and I knew the only place I had to go for the help I needed to step up was through prayer.

Private personal prayer is a good time for introspection. Morning prayer might include a petition for honesty, chastity, virtue, or for simply being of service to others. In the evening, there may be another quick checkup on all those attributes. We pray for the preservation of our spiritual integrity, then we work for it. Should any flaw be found, we will want to begin the process of prompt repair that will protect further disintegration of a threatened spiritual quality.

This next part of his talk hit home. How often do we ask ourselves these questions? And if we ask the questions, do we like the answers? For myself, although the right thing was hard to do, even though I will suffer the consequences of my mistake, I found solace in reading this talk and seeing my answers to the question.

Self-assessment is done best in many little steps, asking ourselves questions such as:

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  What do we do when we make a mistake? Do we admit our error and apologize, or do we deny it and blame others?

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  What do we do when we are in a group where wrong ideas or activities are promoted? Do we endorse error by our silence, or do we take a stand?

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  Are we totally true to our employers, or are we less than loyal?

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  Do we keep the Sabbath day, obey the Word of Wisdom, honor our father and mother?

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  If we have made sacred covenants in the temple, how do we react when we hear evil-speaking against the Lord’s anointed? Do we honor all covenants made there? Or do we allow exceptions and rationalize our behavior to suit our preconceived preferences?

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  How do we honor our word? Can our promises be trusted?

And of course, with the atonement, there is always hope and comfort. I may not rise above temporally, but in the eternal scheme of things, I made the right choice.

We should not be discouraged or depressed by our shortcomings. No one is without weakness. As part of the divine plan, we are tested to see whether we master weakness or let weakness master us. Proper diagnosis is essential to proper treatment. The Lord gave us this remarkable assurance: “Because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong” (Ether 12:37). But wishing for strength won’t make us strong. It takes faith and work to shore up a weakened cord of integrity.

We know the process of self-repair called repentance. Mercifully, we do not have to begin that process alone. We can receive help through counsel with trusted family members and Church leaders. But their aid is more likely to help if we seek it not merely to satisfy a formality but with real intent to reform and come closer to Christ. He is the ultimate physician.

Real faith in Him will provide real relief—and glorious rewards. He said, “Because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father” (Ether 12:37; see also Ether 12:27, 2 Cor. 12:9).

Mistakes may mar our worthiest intentions, and serious sin can stain with scarlet the slate of pristine white that was once ours. As none of us may escape sin, none of us may escape suffering. Repentance may not be easy, but it is worth it. Repentance not only bleaches, it heals!