Year in Review

Last year, around this time, I posted that I wanted 27 to be a year to beat. It is amazing to me that as I sat down this morning to write this post, I was immediately pulled to all the many things I have to be grateful for-so much so, that I started to cry. (SHOCKING! This girl crying?! NEVER!) 2012 has definitely been a year to beat and for some reason I just know that 2013 will be just as great, if not better (maybe that's because of my new theme!! Which I am sooo excited about! But patience-that post will come soon).


My overall feelings about this past year have been summed up in a mix I made for my best friend, 'On Top of the World', or the song 'Up and Up'. That does not mean this year has been perfect-far from it. But every mountain and every challenge has had a purpose. And my theme for the year has really helped define my journey that much more.


So, let's review the theme and my goals! (I'm more excited about this then I have ever been before!)

"Meekness, however, is more than self-restraint; it is the presentation of self in a posture of kindness and gentleness, reflecting certitude, strength, serenity, and a healthy self-esteem and self-control."

-Neal A. Maxwell

This quote served as my theme for the year and I broke it down into three points:

1st: The presentation of self in a posture of kindness and gentleness

"I am a daughter of a King. How very important it is for me to treat myself with love and respect.

And then carry that love, respect, kindness, and gentleness to all those around me. How very important it is that each of us knows that God knows us and numbers us among the stars. This is an additional thing I think of when I read presentation of self in a posture of kindness and gentleness. Everyone has struggles, everyone has their own demons and challenges; EVERYONE needs a little more kindness and gentleness. And for some reason, Heavenly Father has given me a gift of being able to love-to see a person as an individual. And now, I want to really work on loving as he does. I want to see the worth of souls and help them to feel God's love for them. I want to serve from the bottom of my heart and give myself completely to following Christ's teachings."

In reflecting over this point, it amazes me just how many ways I was called to fill this role without recognizing it until now. It started with a call to the Relief Society Presidency. During a time of great need-a need for my talents to be used in the midst of extreme grief and sorrow, both my own personally and my wards. In less then a week, my rocky family relationships were all left hanging by a thread, I was left questioning who I really was, and then I was called to the presidency. Less then two weeks later, while I was still in the midst of my own grief, one of our sisters died in a car accident. Because the experiences were beyond personal, I will just simply say that I was literally carried by the Lord and managed to accomplish everything that was required of me. And as I gave everything that I could possibly give, I was given glimpses of the Lord's plan for my life. It was one of the most beautiful tender mercies I have ever received.

Later in the year, recently actually, I had a very special blessing from a friend. It was one of the most beautiful (and longest) blessings I have ever been given. In the days prior to the blessing, I had been struggling with how to serve a sister in our ward after I had unintentionally hurt her. The blessing was very specific about my call to serve. In the weeks since, I have seen that blessing fulfilled in ways I never thought possible.

In each instance I have learned more about who I really am, been able to love myself a little more, and more importantly-been able to love others more completely (and hopefully helped them to feel God's love).

2nd: reflecting certitude, strength, serenity

I want to continue this pattern, of involving my Father in Heaven in my life, with consistency-to really reflect certitude and strength. And then with this, find that inner peace-the serenity-that comes with really knowing God and understanding the plan that he has for me as an individual and all of us as a collective group...There is serenity in this concept that I want to find-a great strength in knowing God on that level. I want to dedicate this year to knowing my Savior on this level.

I don't think that I can say I have involved the Lord consistently in EVERYTHING this past year-but at the same time I have involved Heavenly Father in my life and I have known God's plan more then ever before. Its hard to reflect on this one, because it involves a lot of those refiner's fire moments. And its even harder because of the last few weeks-which have been an uphill battle to not fear the 'unknown' of the next phase of my life. But today as I sit and reflect on this statement and what I had intended for my life this past year, its obvious to me that 'heaven has shown me miracles'. I have learned this past year, that my inner strength and drive is a gift from Heavenly Father; but I have also learned that that strength is not really my own-but that I become mighty because of the Savior. This year I have learned that even in the thick of struggling, I can have complete peace.

3rd: a healthy self-esteem and self-control

'Have the courage to be imperfect on the road to perfection." Self-control is like a muscle-it requires constant use to build up its strength. And when we lack self control, Satan has complete control over our path in life. Elder Holland has reminded me, "The only real control in this life, is self-control." This is my goal for this year. To love myself a little more, to remember that I am not forgotten, and to consistently 'flex' my self-control.

Always a challenge to be completely honest with yourself-and of all my areas, this is one I still struggle with. But I've improved and that's the point of goals. I'm still struggling with certain definitions I've assigned to myself for years, but I'm getting better at recognizing my personal worth and strengths. And most importantly, my self control is getting better-not great, but better!

And now time for the GOALS

1. Read the New Testament-Learn more of Christ's ministry and how to apply those teachings to my own life (CHECK!)

2. Seek out opportunities to serve (and serve in the right way, without expecting blessings, but instead for the betterment of others) (CHECK!)

3. Consistently make the choice (my theme last year can't just be forgotten! Instead I have to consistently do it!) (CHECK!)

4. Pay off some of my debt (starting with the small things and working to the big ones!) (This will be on my list for years-but I've made progress and so I'm giving it a CHECK!)

5. Get published! (with my first manuscript) (Results still pending...)

6. Run a half-marathon (gotta do it this year...I ain't no spring chicken) (No check! But I am running 3x a week and working up so thats good)

7. Make a trip to VA (Hopefully in the Fall with Grace! And to see my all my favorites, including my BEST friend. Cause I miss her like crazy-and maybe convince her to finally come to Texas *hint,hint*) (CHECK CHECK CHECK!!! I saw all my favorites, had an amazing time with Jess, and she's totally coming to Texas! WOOOT!) 

8. Be Healthier (Exercising, simplifying my diet, and loving myself every day) (CHECK! I am most proud of this goal-because not only have I accomplished it-I've also lost weight and not just a few pounds, but I weigh less then I did in high-school. And most importantly, I feel better about myself then I have in years!) 

9. Read 25 books (Meh...it wasn't a good year for reading-because I was too busy running around and living my life) 

10. Go to the Temple 2x a month (CHECK!)

11. Less media, more time choosing the 'better part' (CHECK!)

12. Meet Heather's baby (my new little munchkin to spoil! I think I'm going to call him/her a giraffe!) (CHECK!)

So as you can see-2012 really has been a year to beat. But here's my thoughts on the matter (hey, you are reading my blog so I get that luxury) 2012 has been a year to beat-but I will beat it because this life is my journey and as you will soon learn, I have decided that's the most important part!